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Things were going well again, but then I found him on another dating site. We argued about it and then he deleted it. I’ve found out that when he’s out, he tells girls that he is single. He would get text messages from girls and I would see them, and they would be simple messages, but when I asked him about them, he told me he has known them for years. I don’t believe him.
This guy sounds awful. Yes, you’ve had some good times and laugh a lot, but he’s been texting a married woman and has lied to you about being on dating sites. He refuses to change his behavior, and your life has become a race to catch him in the act. Leaving a long-term relationship is scary, but you can’t continue on like this. If there is no trust, you can’t grow as a couple.
My advice? Start reaching out to friends who can help you make plans for a move. You need community support as you decide what’s next. Remind yourself that you’re not really joined at the hip with your boyfriend because sometimes his hip is signing up for dating sites or texting other women.